Guys, listen up. As you’re probably wearing trainers or sneakers, right now, you’ll probably want to know the direction your next pair is coming from. Think of the worst pair you can imagine, double it and then sprinkle on another cup of ugly and you’re there.
Left - Vetements X Reebok Instapump Fury Canvas Trainers - £610 from matchesfashion.com
Gone are those minimal, sleek cup-soles, that have, let’s be honest, had a good run for their money, to be replaced by the fugliest fuckers to hit the pavement.
Right - Raf Simons X Adidas Ozweego III Low-Top Trainers - £285
This is all part of our addiction to bad 90s style and everything of dubious taste. You better start planning the rest of the outfit!
Below Right - Eytys - Angel Low-Top Chunky-Sole Leather Trainers - £265
Below - Nike Air More Uptempo Triple Black - £140
It’s not gone Pete Tong, it’s gone Judge Jules! You don’t get more 90s than a pair of yellow lensed wraparound sunglasses.
I first saw these Gosha Rubchinskiy X Retrosuperfuture collaboration sunglasses at the CIFF tradeshow in Copenhagen in January. They were just about to be released. And, while they’ve sold out, the image stuck with me. There’s something disconcertingly bad about them, yet still fresh.
Style icons, the term used very loosely, such as Bono or Eyeball Paul spring to mind. I expect a lot of the sunglasses companies to start making similar styles for SS18. Lookout for bug-eye shapes and light coloured lenses.
Left - Gosha Rubchinskiy X Super by Retrosuperfuture - £200
Below - Gosha Rubchinskiy SS17
Below From Left - The wraparound Trinity of Judge Jules, Eyeball Paul & Bono
Not all logos are created equal and one that is hot one minute, can quickly, for various reasons, become fashion deadly nightshade. Fashion goes through waves of logomania and then decides it's over, done that and goes subtle and that usually lasts about two minutes with most brands when they see sales falling.
Anyway, the hot logo for AW17 and SS18 is the full name running diagonally across. Think of a branded piece of tissue paper and you get the idea.
When Balenciaga relaunched under new designer Demna Gvasalia the website was given a tasteful tasteless makeover with the name 'Balenciaga Paris' running diagonally across. It then made its way onto clothes and accessories.
I'm not sure how long this is going to last, but, right now, it's cool.
Far Left - Bally SS18
Left - Palm Angels SS18
Below - Balenciaga SS18
Left - MSGM SS18
Below - Balenciaga - Intarsia Wool-Blend Scarf - £365 from MRPORTER.COM
The Crystal Maze Jumpsuit
The all-in-one becomes a style adventure as the jumpsuit, finally, makes into men's wardrobes. Think of it as a cost saver, as you get a top and bottom in one.
From Left - Rochas, Prada, Prada, Lanvin,
Below - From Left - Ralph Lauren, Facetasm, Ami, Cerruti1881
The shirt is back! -you heard it here first - so that also means the collar is too. Wear it messy and open.
From Left - Prada, Marni, Wooyoungmi, Valentino
This trend followed on from London - here
Left - Prada
The Soviet Shoulder
Forget the Cold War, it's all about the cold shoulder for SS18. Think big and high. More hunched than hench!
From Left - Prada, Thom Browne, Rick Owens, Paul Smith
Below Left - Balenciaga, Wooyoungmi, Dries van Noten
Return of the Tie
We've seen the shirt - above - is back, so it only seems fitting that the neck tie makes a reappearance.
From Left - Marni, Marni, Kenzo, SSS World Corp
From Below - Paul Smith, Wooyoungmi, Fendi, Antonio Marras
The less it matches the better.
Left - Marni, Sacai
They make you taller & thinner? Where do I sign?!
Left - Marni, Balmain, Etudes, Haider Ackermann
Below Left - Paul Smith, Cerruti 1881, Ami
Long & loose. Just don't call it 'long-line'!
From Left - Thom Browne, Alexander McQueen, Dries van Noten, Officine Generale
Florals on Mephedrone!
Below - Kenzo, Ami, DSquared2
Long Short Sleeves
It's all part of the larger-than-life, oversized trend of trying to make your polo shirt sleeves touch your wrists.
From Left - Balenciaga, Balenciaga, DSquared2, MSGM, Neil Barrett
Big Coloured Bags
If you're a man carry man-sized stuff around, you need a man-sized bag, obvs. Matching it with your hair is up to you.
From Far Left - Tourne de Transmission, Berthold
LOVE & PEACE
Who was it that once sang, ‘All you need is love’? Well, whomever it was, London needs a bit of a cuddle right now.
Below - Oliver Spencer, Bodybound
Just as orange has become a menswear staple colour, it's now time for primary yellow.
From Far Left - Kiko Kostadinov, Berthold
Androgynous ‘Non Binary’ Club Kids
Men’s and women’s fashion collections are merging so they may as well make it all androgynous, unisex and non-binary. They’ll save a fortune!
Anything goes? Yep! Read more here
From Far Left - Charles Jeffrey Loverboy, Art School
Alf Garnett becomes the style icon for SS18.
From Below Left - Per Götesson, Nicholas Daley, Bodybound, Katie Eary
Networking, fashionably so.
Far Left - Miharayasuhiro, Blood Brother
Selvedge tape continues to proclaim you allegiance.
Below - Bobby Abley, Christopher Raeburn
Striped Rowing Jackets
From Below Left - Topman Design, Songzio, Hackett, Kent & Curwen, Kent & Curwen
Border control. Who needs the eye scanner when you can wear this?
Left - Bobby Abley
The first rule of fashion week - always end your show on a high.
Below - Bobby Abley, Liam Hodges
Fashion gets streamlined. Bike optional.
From Far Left - Martine Rose, Daniel W Fletcher, Wan Hung
Fashion loves a few pointless dangly bits.
From Below - Tourne de Transmission, D.GNAK
Who knew big zips could be so slimming?
Both - Miharayasuhiro
Paris is always the most serious of fashion capitals. Never one for irony or a sense of humour, when Paris does something, it does it with a serious face. That aside, thanks to a few international designers, a few glimmers of fun poked through.
Call of the Wild
Safari, wild beasts, dodos?! Which animal would play you in the fashion Jungle Book?
Left - Louis Vuitton, Valentino, Walter van Beirendonck, Louis Vuitton
No need to shrug those shoulders as your neck disappeared seasons ago.
Putting the gay into 'Gay Paris', Joseph has nothing on this technicolour.
Left - Paul Smith, Lanvin, Balmain, Thom Browne
A new way to do prints. Thinking natural dyes and historical influences.
Left - Dries van Noten
Big Trouser Bulge
Pack everything in.
Left - Givenchy
There is something about this wash which is so wrong yet so right at the same time. Think Dynasty/Dallas denim.
Left - Balmain
If life gives you lemons, then wear yellow?!
From Left - Paul Smith, Hermes
From Left - Off White, Haider Ackermann
Those tails are wagging for this new cropped evening style.
Left - Balmain
(See more from Milan - here)
Italians do it better. This seems to be the theme coming out of Milan fashion week where the Italians have taken the bull by the horns and produced some of the best menswear we’ve seen from them in a long time. You may as well go down in style!
Here are TheChicGeek’s trend highlights:
Think avocado and prawn cocktail sauce.
From Left - Gucci, Bally, Gucci
The seventies got a refresh and contemporary update. Chevrons were the order of the day.
From Far Left - Neil Barrett, Fendi, Dsquared2, Neil Barrett
(See TheChicGeek meet Neil Barrett just before this collection - here)
Knowing Fendi this is probably made from kittens. Get the robe out of the spa and take it to the street.
More bleach. It's one way of cleaning your clothes. (See how London did it - here)
From Left - Gucci, Dsquared2, MSGM, Bally
The most stylish men are always prepared. Now get over prepared!
From Left - Moncler Gamme Bleu, Ferragamo, Prada, Ferragamo
Nobody dresses up anymore, said no one, ever. It's time to get imaginative and experiment with new shapes including ruffles and tails.
From Left - Versace, Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci
Jazz, great! From literal at Dolce to art-deco Marcel waves at Fendi. I thought I'd throw a painting from the era by British artist Duncan Grant for additional inspiration.
From Left - Dolce & Gabbana, Fendi, Missoni, Fendi, Ralph Lauren
Rediscover your waist. Suck it in and stick a letter on it.
Left - Bally
Nobody does narcissism like the Italians!
Below - Giorgio Armani
Where was everybody? That could have been the final statement when it came to London’s latest round of men’s shows and presentations. Having dropped from 77 to 57, the number of brands showing was a reflection in the current oversupply of fashion brands and collections. LCM felt a little vacant and, unfortunately, what was left didn’t exactly set the menswear world on fire.
Here are a few trends TheChicGeek spied to take us into the new year:
It's 40 years since punk first burst on to the British streetwear scene and to celebrate designers have been getting creative with a bottle of Domestos.
From Left - Casely-Hayford, Mihara Yasuhiro (See how to make your own pair of bleachers - here)
Tracey Emin rang, she wants her spare bed back! Could it be a comment on generation rent and the nomad status of today’s young and creative generation or maybe it was simply the lazy option. Expect to see 'Dreams' as the headline sponsor of the next LCM or London Fashion Week Men’s as it is now called.
From Left - Per Götesson, Edward Crutchley
Nothing says 'playful' like Terry towelling. And while a playsuit maybe taking things too far, if you've got the legs...
From Left - Sibling, Topman Design
Flag To The Mast
Tie your sartorial flag to the mast and dress like a walking United Nations.
Both Craig Green
Colouring in is so 2015! Get that Sharpie out and start to doodle to your heart's content.
Below - Coach
Zips go man-sized, this season, and take centre stage.
From Left - Mihara Yasuhiro, JW Anderson, Mihara Yasuhiro
Large lapels yet streamlined shapes make this a contemporary seventies revival.
Fashion tribes take inspiration from ethnic jewellery and the play with masculinity and decoration.
Left - Casely-Hayford, Wales Bonner, Charles Jeffrey
The colour combo of the season. Bubblegum to fuchsia, lime to forest, these two colours work in every combination.
Both JW Anderson (See more from this trend in Milan)
From the frow to standing at the back! TheChicGeek was all over the recent menswear shows at London Collections: Men. Here are the trends that caught his eye:
Copper - That highlight orange has become slightly dirtier and more grown up.
From Far Left - Craig Green, Katie Eary, Hopman Design, Oliver Spencer
Grunge - Nobody’s ever made money from selling grunge, it’s kind of the point, no?
From Far Left - Topman Design, Burberry, J.W. Anderson
Neck Scarves - Double knot it for accessory impact.
Both Margaret Howell
Soft 70s Teddy Bear Hair - Layers, Bowl Cut, or simply ask for an 'Abigail's Party' next time you're at the barbers.
Below From Left - Lou Dalton, Burberry
Cropped Mid-Driff - Not since Mark Owen in the Relight My Fire Video have I been this excited about the male midriff. AW16's new, chilly erogenous zone!
From Far Left - Agi & Sam, Astrid Andersen
Inside Out Sheepskins - You could just turn last year's inside out, but it probably won't look as good!
From Far Left - Coach, James Long, 1205
Sequins - These were dress-down sequins on sportswear and simple tops.
Burberry, James Long
Silk - Menswear bedroom eyes with luxurious plain or printed silks in bedroom shapes.
Below - Katie Eary, Topman Design
Milan is home to many of fashion's megabrands. This powerhouse is full of the commercial sex appeal we've come to expect from the home of Italian fashion. TheChicGeek casts his expert eye over the details and trends worth coveting:
It could have something to do with the recent MET exhibition in New York, or simply the cycle of Chinese influence is coming around for another season, but look out for Mao collars and delicate Chinese decoration in relaxed, voluminous shapes.
From Left - Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana, Dolce & Gabbana
Step straight out of bed, or straight in, depending on timings, with the new dressing gown type coats and pyjama shirts.
Below - Both - Bally
No, you're not seeing things. Colour and pattern are stylishly distorted to make the wearer standout while confusingly blending in.
From Left - Salvatore Ferragamo, Salvatore Ferragamo, MGSM
Call it ethnic or ASOS!, everything is untucked and in a longer length. Just be careful when wearing with shorts.
Below - Both - Versace
Comfort seems to be the key for technical fabrics today: a new ease of movement and travel focused.
From Left - Jil Sander, Prada
Shake that money maker! The money spinner for the majority of major fashion brands, it appears on the catwalk in recognition of the part it has played in creating these brands and the fashion landscape today.
From Left - Calvin Klein, Ports 1961, Calvin Klein, Ports 1961
Not so much Hitchcock as Attenborough with parrots to hummingbirds seen on the chests of menswear from Milan.
From Left - Gucci, Ports 1961, Dolce & Gabbana
I can see right through this trend which was first seen in London.
From Left - No.21, Gucci, Gucci
Just because - The new Gucci is slightly mental - good mental - in a Fight Club meets Peter Sellers kinda way. Love this dressing up box style.
Left - Gucci