Forget flip-flops or 3/4 length cargo shorts, the worst thing to be seen wearing this summer is the milkshake. Engulfing the political canvasing of the European elections recently, everybody from Tommy Robinson to Nigel Farage has been getting the cold bukkake treatment. The traditional egg and flour method of showing political figures what we think has been getting the youthful makeover of a thick and icy McDonald’s milkshake. (Or Five Guys subject to budgets and neighbourhoods).
Is it milkshake weather yet? Expect to see a spike in sales. Showing the generational divide of this election, the milkshake treatment is a sloppy anti-establishment reminder of an expression that goes back centuries. Here’s how to style it in:
1. Dress to match. Go for the Colonel Sanders or Tom Wolfe option of milky white tailoring. Let’s just hope you don’t get covered in a chocolate shake.
From Right - Colonel Saunders looking finger licking good, Tom Wolfe in his trademark white tailoring
2. Pretend it’s vintage Maison Margiela and the paint effect is all part of the look. Distressingly distressed.
3. What came first? The egg or the milkshake. Prempt a strike and go for a Tough Mudder or a wet Glastonbury chocolate brown covering.
Right - "Corbyn, Corbyn, Corbyn" Glastonbury the new political opportunity?
4. Get on the shiny PVC/rubber trend. A quick hose down and you’re ready to go.
5. Who cares? Own it. Wipe your face and move on. You’re a political soldier.
6. Layers. Be a human post-it. Pull it off and start again.
7. Opt for a clear mac. Business underneath a see-through mac.
8. Go full on Leigh Bowery. Get that drippy look and make it look like performance art.
From Right - Boy George as Leigh Bowery, Leigh Bowery
If all else fails, make a swift Brexit. Soz.